Following the Season of Dean and the Season of Jess, “Gilmore Girls” Season 3 (2002-03, The WB) resists being defined by a relationship, or at least not a functional one. As is often the case in senior-year-of-high-school seasons, “Gilmore Girls” grows up and gets complicated (Jess instead of Dean, Yale over Harvard, the Independence Inn swapped out for the Dragonfly). While the plots and characters are numerous, the nostalgic end-of-an-era theme and tone dominate.
Bittersweet moments
“They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They?” (episode 7), is the definitively bittersweet episode, as Dean – picking up on Rory’s large stockpile of longing gazes at Jess – officially breaks up with her (although they had been emotionally broken up for a year, at least at Rory’s end). Rory switches gears from Dean to Jess, starting with two heart-tugging scenes.
At the walking bridge where they first bonded over books in Season 2’s “A-Tisket, A-Tasket,” Jess tells Rory he has something to take care of — breaking up with his placeholder girlfriend so he can be with Rory. Gone is the innocence of Rory’s living-room first date with Dean in Season 1’s “Kiss and Tell.” For better or worse, Rory acts like an adult, both in the manipulative way she trades Dean for Jess (really, it’s a bit much that she gets to be heartbroken AND get exactly what she wants), and the way she maturely thanks Dean for being a perfect first boyfriend in the next episode.
“Gilmore Girls” Season 3 (2002-03)
WB, 22 episodes
Creator: Amy Sherman-Palladino
Stars: Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Scott Patterson
Once Rory and Jess are together, their romance immediately goes from sexy to anxiety-filled, as Jess demands to know every time Rory talks to Dean but also acts aloof, only to swoop in with Distillers tickets and turn Rory into “that girl” who waits by the phone for the guy who treats her like dirt. I have no doubt that the awkwardness of Rory-Jess was purposeful on the writers’ part.
We, like Rory, dreamed of never-boring talks about books and music deep into the night, but real life ain’t like that, and Jess’ mistreatment of Rory culminates in the Dean-Jess fistfight in episode 19. They’re fighting over Rory, and Lorelai is impressed (“Did you ever know that you’re my hero,” she serenades her daughter), but this is a fight where no one wins.
Different directions
Even as Season 3 shows the doomed-from-the-moment-they-start-going-steady Rory-Jess pairing, it also makes Jess sympathetic (even though I’ll also accept “jackass” – Dean’s term — as a fair descriptor). With Stars Hollow High School well below Jess’ level of smarts, he earns bucks at Walmart (where he is named employee of the month), but in order to be responsible on that front, he’s irresponsible on another – Stars Hollow won’t let him graduate because he skipped too many days.
It’s heartbreaking to see Jess’ life going in a different direction from Yale-bound Rory’s, and it segues perfectly into episode 21, a backdoor pilot for the California-set Jess spinoff “Windward Circle,” which – adding to the sadness of it all — never actually happened.
Perhaps the highlight of Season 3 is that Lane finally gets the attention she deserves from the writers, and a boyfriend in Dave (breakthrough star Adam Brody, who unfortunately was poached to play Seth Cohen on “The O.C.” in the summer of 2003), plus a band (not yet named Hep Alien). In a rare case of consistently shallow writing on “Gilmore Girls,” Mrs. Kim is still horribly racist and Lane’s home life remains a black hole of dark comedy. Still, my love of Lane never wanes.
You can’t change people
Even though there’s no time for advancement of the Luke-Lorelai drama, the writers haven’t forgotten about it: Season 3 opens with Lorelai dreaming of kissing Luke and closes with Luke dreaming of Lorelai asking him to not get engaged to his girlfriend.
As L&L continue to dodge their mutual attraction, and as Rory blows it with Dean and fails to change Jess, other characters pass them by in knocking down life thresholds. Max (in a long-overdue coda to early Season 2, when Lorelai left him at the altar) has moved on, and Christopher has a baby with Sherry. Paris loses her virginity, and Dean gets engaged to Lindsay.
All of this serves to illustrate the year’s theme: It’s scary how life can pass you by when all you were doing was working toward opening an inn and getting accepted to an Ivy League school. Sleeping helps the Gilmore girls stay pretty, but should they have pounded down even more coffee to keep up with the Joneses (or the Gellers, Forresters and Medinas)?
Here are my rankings of the 22 episodes:
1. “They Shoot Gilmores, Don’t They?” (episode 7, written by Amy Sherman-Palladino)
This is Sherman-Palladino’s answer to “Once More, With Feeling” (Joss Whedon’s blockbuster “Buffy” musical from a year prior). In addition to the pivotal moments in Rory’s and Lane’s love lives, it’s defined by the wonderfully Stars-Hollow-esque 24-hour dance marathon, which reveals Sherman-Palladino’s love of dancing.
While she’ll always be known for “Gilmore Girls” above all else, the ballet-centered “Bunheads” (2012-13, ABC Family) is more representative of Sherman-Palladino’s life and interests, and it’s fascinating to see that 10 years before it hit the air, she snuck some of that “Bunheads” vibe into this episode, which was directed by Kenny Ortega (“High School Musical”).
2. “Keg! Max!” (19, Daniel Palladino)
The handful of episodes before this were easy-breezy (and even this one is driven by the cliché-busting party-throwing kids who pack away their folks’ breakables and demand the use of coasters), making it all the more surprising and heartbreaking when everything hits the fan, from the Dean-Jess dust-up to a drunken Lane calling her mom and telling her what’s what.
3. “Those Are Strings, Pinocchio” (22, Palladino)
Lorelai’s obsession with not owing her parents anything gets out of hand, as it’s left to Rory to pursue a happily-offered Yale loan from Richard and Emily, freeing up cash for Lorelai to buy the Dragonfly Inn. While her Chilton graduation speech is clichéd (you won’t find a mayor turning into a snake demon on this show), I admit to some tears as valedictorian Rory thanks Emily, Richard and her mom.
4. “Dear Emily and Richard” (13, Sherman-Palladino)
“Gilmore Girls” ambitiously flashes back to Lorelai getting pregnant, encapsulating the fear of 16-year-old Lor and the disappointment of her parents. Chelsea Brummet is a wonderful young Lorelai, and the sepia tones help sell the flashbacks and help us overlook the mediocre Young Christopher. Brummet also appears in (rightfully) deleted flashback scenes in the season finale with a younger Rory.
5. “Face-Off” (15, John Stephens)
Most “Gilmore Girls” episodes don’t spend money on scenes that involve choreography of movement (the top two on this list are rare exceptions featuring a dance and a fight), but this one nicely illustrates the series’ ability to fake its way through its low budget.
We get a nice sense of a Stars Hollow High hockey game even though we mainly see the stands. Lane plays out her scheme to secretly date Dave, and Rory tries her hand at living her life outside of Jess’ random schedule. While Rory becoming “that girl” against her better judgment is good stuff, it would’ve been cool to actually see Rory and Jess at the Distillers concert.
6. “A Deep-Fried Korean Thanksgiving” (9, Palladino)
Tofurkey, deep-fried turkey (and shoes) and Drunken Sookie. Plus, Dean’s and Jess’ roles intriguingly flip-flop, as Dean realizes he doesn’t have to control his behavior for Rory’s sake anymore. He likes the freedom, and the look on Jess’ face when he realizes he is now in a defensive position is classic. (As it turns out, Dean is too good of a guy to harass Jess – although they do continue to hate each other’s guts.)
7. “A Tale of Poes and Fire” (17, Palladino)
The bedtime conversation between Luke and Lorelai where she tells him about (most of) her dream is giggle-worthy. And in a nice example of Lorelai knowing just what to do to put her daughter’s mind at ease, she swaps out Rory’s Harvard shrine for a Yale shrine (although I have to ask: At what point in this chaotic hour did she have time to make it?).
8. “The Big One” (16, Sherman-Palladino)
Rory gets the Big Envelope from Harvard (and Yale and Princeton), while Paris gets the small one. It’s somewhat odd for a show to have the main character always get her way while the supporting characters must take harder paths (see Paris and Dean and Jess, but even more consistently, Lane). That having been said, it’s nice to see Rory do her best to be a good friend to Paris.
9. “Application Anxiety” (3, Palladino)
While this is just a setup for Rory’s season-long Yale versus Harvard decision, it strikes weird-comedy gold with the Springsteens (no relation to Bruce), a Harvard family that constantly quizzes each other about various academic topics. Also, Rory meets the Springsteens’ odd-duck daughter (as in: her life isn’t centered on academia), showing Rory another option.
10. “That’ll Do, Pig” (10, Shelia R. Lawrence)
It’s a contrivance for getting us to like Emily, but a very effective one: Her mother-in-law, Trix, is 100 times more awful to Emily than Emily ever was to Lorelai. Meanwhile, the Winter Carnival makes it clear that the Rory-Jess spark went away as soon as they officially got together.
11. “Say Goodnight, Gracie” (20, Sherman-Palladino)
It’s mostly a set-up for the final episodes, but it has that wonderfully sad scene where Rory and Jess say goodbye. Technically, she doesn’t know he’s splitting town, but on some level I think she does. Buses never fail as metaphors for people’s different paths in life (“This is my stop”). See also: “Ghost World.”
12. “Let the Games Begin” (8, Sherman-Palladino)
Richard tricks Rory into taking a Yale admissions interview, setting the stage for the season’s back-and-forth of the elder Gilmores ticking off the younger Gilmores and vice versa. Each instance invites a viewer to pick a side in the ongoing conflict.
13. “Happy Birthday, Baby” (18, Sherman-Palladino)
Before things blow up in “Keg! Max!,” we get one last sweet and light episode centered on Rory working with the local pizza guy to build the world’s largest pizza for her mom’s 35th birthday.
14. “Swan Song” (14, Palladino)
The Jess-gets-attacked-by-a-swan gag works best on the first viewing, while Jess’ rudeness at Emily’s dinner further illustrates that Jess is a rare project that Rory won’t get a passing grade on.
15. “Here Comes the Son” (21, Sherman-Palladino)
This is the series’ strangest episode in tone, as Jess’ scenes with his estranged dad are essentially a backdoor pilot for the “Life Unexpected”-esque “Windward Circle.” Despite Milo Ventimiglia’s fine acting as he contends that Jess “(has) nothing!,” viewers know that he had a great guardian in Luke.
On the other hand, I get the sense that deep down he left Stars Hollow because he felt he wasn’t good enough for Rory. It’s a shame the spinoff never happened, because Jess remains Ventimiglia’s best role – although I liked his Jess-esque roles in “American Dreams” and “Bedford Diaries” — and the writers didn’t get to fully delve into the character’s arc.
16. “One’s Got Class and the Other One Dyes” (4, Palladino)
Lane with purple hair! For now, it’s a path not taken, as Lane dyes it back to black before Mrs. Kim sees it. But at least it’s a hint of what’s to come as the free-spirited Lane gradually negotiates her way out of her stuffy traditional household.
17. “Lorelai Out of Water” (12, Janet Leahy)
Luke teaches Lorelai how to fish in advance of her date with Alex. I wonder what ever happened to that fish Lor brought home as a pet?
18. “Those Lazy-Hazy-Crazy Days” (1, Sherman-Palladino)
I love the disapproving look on Lorelai’s face when Rory admits she likes Jess more than Dean.
19. “Haunted Leg” (2, Sherman-Palladino)
Kirk asks Lorelai out on a date and she lets him down easy.
20. “I Solemnly Swear …” (11, Stephens)
This is a weirdly toned episode in the Rory-Paris rivalry where – after manipulation from Francie – they (or at least Paris’ and Rory’s stunt doubles) end up fencing each other. Also, Alex and Lorelai meet. You remember Lorelai’s fling with Alex, right? The guy who likes coffee, fishing and camping? Don’t feel bad. I didn’t remember him either (which I think was the point, but still …).
21. “Take the Deviled Eggs …” (6, Palladino)
Here’s another episode that shows exactly what it intends to show — Rory and Lorelai being uncomfortable at Sherry’s baby shower — but that doesn’t make it any easier to watch. It’s not cool that Rory and Lorelai (deviled) egg Jess’ car. But I do like Jess’ name for his blue-collar persona (or blue-shirted, since he operates the forklift at Walmart): Dirk Squarejaw.
22. “Eight O’Clock at the Oasis” (5, Justin Tanner)
With this non-gem, Season 2’s “Secrets & Loans” gets competition for worst episode. Everyone behaves slightly out of character. And the Gilmores’ new neighbor, Dwight, who ropes the girls into watering his lawn while he’s gone, is supposed to be funny-annoying, but he’s just annoying. Thankfully, we won’t see him again.
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