Teen TV looks to the past with ‘Cobra Kai,’ ‘Hysteria!,’ ‘Cruel Intentions’

Some Gen-Z teen TV shows have original premises and say something specific about this point in history … but I’m not reviewing those here. Instead, I look at three shows that draw from the past: the excellent “Karate Kid” continuation “Cobra Kai,” plus the first episodes of the 1989-set “Hysteria!” and the “Cruel Intentions” reboot. Additional episodes have aired, but this isn’t a paying gig, so I’m only reviewing the first eps of those two series.

‘Cobra Kai’ Season 6, Part 2

In the second of the three five-episode batches that close out the series, “Cobra Kai” (Netflix) seemingly rehires the fight choreographers and camera operators who took vacations during Part 1. Especially impressive is the grand-finale brawl at the Sekai Takai, the Barcelona-based international tournament, a sequence that would make even “They Live” director John Carpenter say “That’s a long brawl.”

I like how we – and the athletes – don’t know the precise format of the tournament till the organizer announces it at the start of each round. It’s a TV contrivance, but actually it would be kinda neat if some real sports operated like this. And the set-ups are creative, like the round that takes place on a raised platform; get knocked off (onto the padded crash zone) and you lose.

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One quibble: The roster rules are never made clear to the viewer. It seems there is a benefit to having girls on the roster, since there are gender-specific rounds. But apparently it’s not required. Tory joins Cobra Kai at the last minute, and is their only girl. On Miyagi-do, Kenny replaces Devon for no reason other than an internal team choice, and it’s allowed.

OK, one more quibble: We never find out who the phantom farter is. My money was on Robby.

“Cobra Kai” now stands on its own. There’s a brief flashback to an obscure “Karate Kid” Cobra Kai member now operating as one of Kreese’s henchmen, but I barely cared. I’m long since all-in on the new generation, in what will go down as one of the top mainstream Gen-Z shows.

4.5 stars

‘Hysteria!’

“Hysteria!” (Peacock) is an odd one. Set in 1989, its closest point of comparison is “Stranger Things” due to its nostalgia baiting. It’s not scary, it’s not funny, and I don’t think it’s a mystery – if it’s supposed to be, I think I figured out all the answers after episode one, so that’s not a good sign. Seemingly, it’s a satire of the 1980s scare of metal bands encouraging kids to worship Satan, something that in real life peaked in 1985.

The actors are good, including Emjay Anthony as the invisible teen who wonders if anyone would notice if he went missing, as happens with a popular kid in episode one. (On the other hand, no one notices the missing kid’s girlfriend is also missing, something that I think is part of the “mystery.”) I’m not sure if Chiara Aurelia is a good actress or a model who takes direction well, but certainly she shows range – playing a sweet makeup-caked goth girl here, a mean girl in “Fear Street” and a little of each in “Cruel Summer.”

“Hysteria!” has good music – including an original devil-worshiping song by the teens’ garage band – and looks like the Eighties if AI were asked to create it. I don’t think 1989 teens said “the f***” as a reactionary phrase. The lack of race-based cliques doesn’t vibe with the era, though. It’s a case of woke tendencies creeping into nostalgia bait, one of those little annoyances that make the show play more like product than a smart satire.

2.5 stars

‘Cruel Intentions’

There are original Gen-Z teen shows out there; it’s my own fault for not tracking them down. But I’ve watched enough of the I.P.-based series to know Gen-Z looks like the No Identity Generation through this lens. In fact, there’s a whole subculture that enjoys watching these shows because they are “so bad they’re good.” “Riverdale” is the forerunner, and we’ve also had spinoffs of millennial favorites “Gossip Girl” and “Pretty Little Liars” that no one talks about except to say they aren’t worth talking about.

“Cruel Intentions” (Amazon Prime) makes its case for being the worst. The 1999 movie is Xennials-meets-the-18^th-century (when “Les Liaisons dangereuses” was published), and its clunky staginess is part of its charm. There’s genuine Nineties stuff in there, including lingering racism and homophobia. And the adorable clutziness of Selma Blair’s character nicely counterbalances the scenery chewing of the deliciously against-type Sarah Michelle Gellar.

In 2015, a pilot episode was produced that followed SMG’s disgraced Kathryn; NBC didn’t pick it up, and I didn’t shed any tears, but – and I don’t say this lightly about something I haven’t seen – there’s no way it can be worse than this 2024 reboot. Every character is unlikeable – that’s sadly a given. Every character is unbelievable – that was also a strong possibility going in. Do teens really say “f***” as a conversational verb so casually?

Wokeness really hurts shows that are supposed to be mean-spirited. We’re told by virtue signalers that racism and homophobia are alive and well in society’s shadows. Well, wouldn’t the behind-the-scenes dramas of elite political families be the place to find bigotry? Not according to this show: As long as you’re a nasty enough human being, your race and sexual orientation are invisible. I bet it was a strain for the writers to put the line “ugly girls” in the script.

An obvious but effective way to comment on the times would be to show these privileged students engaging in gaslighting, but instead they are openly, flatly unappealing. Even the most gullible person would run away rather than seek entry into their circle. I’m guessing if we could get total honesty out of them, none of these cast members would say they believe in this material or enjoy playing it. Sean Patrick Thomas – now as a Manchester College prof — is the only returning actor from the 1999 film; whatever he’s being paid, it’s not enough.

1 star