Around the turn of the century, Judd Apatow and Paul Feig collaborated on “Freaks and Geeks” and “Undeclared,” two of the all-time best (and most quickly canceled) shows about young people. But who was the creative driving force? More than two decades later, the evidence of their respective oeuvres suggests it was Apatow, even though he and Feig wrote teleplays in equal measure.
Apatow’s films and TV since then are recognizably Apatowian – thus allowing those formative TV shows to retroactively get the label. Feig, meanwhile, has been versatile and workmanlike, often helming other people’s screenplays.
Perhaps he’s a little underrated because he’s such a defender of his own “Ghostbusters: Answer the Call” – which is not as bad as people say it is, but not as good as he thinks it is. Or maybe he’s overrated because of one of the century’s most famous comedy sequences, when the “Bridesmaids” get food poisoning.
“Unaccompanied Minors” (2006)
Director: Paul Feig
Writers: Jacob Meszaros, Mya Stark
Stars: Dyllan Christopher, Tyler James Williams, Gia Mantegna
Feig has peppered holiday spirit into his resume, including the charming but basic “Last Christmas” (2019). Before that came 2006’s “Unaccompanied Minors,” a minor-classic-to-some that I hadn’t seen until now.
More fun to make than to watch
Call me a Grinch, but I find this family comedy to be a good example of how Feig is happy directing any ole thing. It seems everyone had fun making this movie about five tweens stuck in an airport during a Christmas Eve blizzard – and the airport director (a three-quarters evil Lewis Black) who is stuck with them. But I didn’t find it fun to watch.
The best thing I can say about “Unaccompanied Minors” – penned by Jacob Meszaros and Mya Stark – is that it’s another chance to see Tyler James Williams. Perfectly cast as a young Chris Rock in “Everybody Hates Chris,” here he plays nerdy (but not really) Charlie. And also, this is an uncompromisingly nice film. It goes to show how Scroogey the ratings board is when this utterly harmless romp gets a PG instead of a G.
There are early signs of “Breakfast Club”-for-tweens potential, like when dorky (but not really) Spencer (Dyllan Christopher) eyes spoiled richie (but not really) Grace (Gia Mantegna) from across the chaos of the Unaccompanied Minors room.
But the movie doesn’t go there; or rather, it goes there so fast that you won’t notice. The quintet – rounded out by Quinn Shephard’s Donna and Brett Kelly’s Beef — almost immediately forms a bond; there are no misconceptions to overcome since they aren’t in high school cliques yet. There’s one late-film surprise about Grace, but even that only alters the type of cliché she is (while reminding us of how much better John Hughes handled this stuff).
Not quite ‘Home Alone’ at the airport
The potential for this to be “Home Alone” with four additional kids is obvious, but “Minors” doesn’t go there either. No bad guys were harmed in the making of this movie – except for Black taking one off-screen punch to the face. (But come on, when Black is the villain, he has to be punched at least once.)
Could we at least get some belch and fart jokes? Well, there’s one of each – first in the U.M. room, later in an air duct. It’s not a brilliant piece of comedy, but thinking back on it, Charlie ripping one in a confined space is the funniest moment. Wait, I did mildly guffaw when Rob Corddry, as the Sierra Clubber dad driving to pick up Spencer and his sister, calls his borrowed-out-of-desperation Humvee a “yellow monster.”
Feig competently directs a screenplay with no stakes. Spencer wanting to reunite with his sister at a hotel a few blocks from the airport is not what I call high stakes. Black’s character doesn’t even really need to catch the kids; his employee (Wilmer Valderrama) openly suggests he simply let them go free. Kids liking each other, and then liking each other more, is not a gripping arc. Most damning of all, it’s hard to like a comedy that isn’t funny.
I sound mean-spirited when reviewing “Unaccompanied Minors,” but I will admit that’s one thing this film isn’t. Any of these five tweens would be a good role model. No qualifiers are required like there might be if you’re explaining to your children why violence is bad yet Kevin McCallister is right to defend himself.
If general positivity and good nature are enough as your family gathers around the TV set, don’t let me shatter your Christmas spirit.