“Guardians of the Galaxy” (2014) has such gorgeously detailed production design in every frame that I almost want to watch it again on mute. There probably wasn’t a better-looking film released last year. But the film itself is shallow, and frankly, it might be the most overrated of 2014.
Warming up and stirring the cliches
Interestingly, it’s not shallow because it overlooks characterizations or performances, a commonly cited flaw of blockbuster space movies. The titular group – which gets its sobriquet from a sarcastic rival – has a natural rapport as each of the five down-in-the-dumps loners gradually realizes they have developed friendships and the laudable value that if they can stop bad guys from destroying a planet, they probably should.
Earthling (or “Terran,” in this universe’s parlance) Peter (“Parks and Recreation’s” Chris Pratt) was abducted by alien crime boss Yondo (Michael Rooker) as a kid, and he’s an oddball in galactic society because he loves Seventies melodic rock and dancing – everyone else in space is a “Footloose” townie, for some reason.
“Guardians of the Galaxy” (2014)
Director: James Gunn
Writers: James Gunn, Nicole Perlman, Dan Abnett
Stars: Chris Pratt, Vin Diesel, Bradley Cooper
Gamora (not a “Godzilla” villain, but rather a hot green-skinned chick played by Zoe Saldana) escaped her adoptive family of evil space-gods led by Ronan (Lee Pace), Drax (pro wrestler Dave Bautista) wants revenge on Ronan, and sentient raccoon Rocket and sentient tree Groot (voiced by Bradley Cooper and Vin Diesel) are bounty hunters.
“Guardians” – based on the 1969 Marvel title’s 2008 relaunch – is a hodgepodge of cliches thrown into a pot and stirred. Granted, the public and most critics love the resulting stew (the film is still drawing long lines at my local $2 theater), but there’s not much nutrition to it. Every plot point and character motivation is borne of convenience. Peter is abducted for no particular reason (other than so the audience has a surrogate), and it’s also unexplained how the outer-space society he resides in includes mostly humans who speak English.
Unexplained backgrounds
Rocket came about via a genetic experiment – and I suppose Groot can be explained the same way — but the movie never tells us why or by whom. Gamora’s sister, Nebula, hates her, basically because Gamora is good and Nebula is evil. Drax’s wife and child were killed (for some reason) by Ronan, but we never see it happen; Drax just tells us about it – several times.
Ronan is the worst of all, because he wants to destroy a planet just for the hell of it. (Actually, if you want to delve into the convoluted plot, Ronan has a pact with another supervillain, Thanos. But even so, the motivations of this evil cadre don’t advance beyond “because they’re evil.”)
Conveniently, there exists an orb with the power to destroy a planet; it’s what everyone is chasing after. It’s one of many weapons that inexplicably exist just because. Yondo has a deadly spear he can control with pinpoint accuracy by whistling, and the diminutive Rocket regularly pulls out a huge bazooka even though it doesn’t make sense that he’d be able to lug it around. Peter has big energy-shooters, too, when the plot calls for it.
An artificial feel
I liked the good guys in “Guardians” well enough. But I wouldn’t have cared if any of them got hurt or died. It’s not because the film is built in a computer and feels too artificial. Indeed, things like Peter’s lovingly sloppy spaceship and an industrial-looking planet that’s a cross between “Star Wars’ ” Coruscant and “Blade Runner’s” future Earth are wonderful story backdrops.
And check out the nebula-filled night sky during that almost-romantic moment between Peter and Gamora; it’s beautiful. The easygoing banter also helps, even if not many of the jokes – Groot only saying “I am Groot,” Peter wanting to be known as “Star-Lord,” Rocket sending teammates on pointless tasks because he thinks it’s amusing — actually land.
It’s just that the story is so dumb. Science fiction films usually use an invented future as a way to make comments about the real world, but “Guardians” doesn’t. It’s a visually spectacular thrill ride, but like space itself, it’s mostly empty.