“Army of Thieves” (Netflix) might be the first movie where a zombie apocalypse happens in the background, with people barely mentioning it. That uniqueness comes from the fact that this is a prequel to “Army of the Dead” (from earlier this year). But it accidentally fits as a commentary on people looking out for themselves as the world comes to end.
A man with super hearing
Anything deep or zeitgeist-y in the screenplay by Shay Hatten (the “I Know What You Did Last Summer” TV series) is likely accidental, because “Thieves” is a playful ride built on the established caper structure. The plot is yawningly simple: A group of five thieves plans to rob the four most impenetrable safes in the world, Hans Wagner’s Ring cycle.
They recruit shy German office worker Sebastian (Matthias Schweighöfer, who also directs); he’ll continue into “Army of the Dead.” His skill is super hearing, so he’s the anti-“Baby Driver.” “Thieves” includes lots of CG shots of the inner workings of safes, all basically the same. Mechanisms click into place and Sebastian is able to hear it.
“Army of Thieves” (2021)
Director: Matthias Schweighöfer
Writers: Shay Hatten (screenplay), Zack Snyder (characters)
Stars: Matthias Schweighöfer, Nathalie Emmanuel, Ruby O. Fee
The film wants to be like “The Prestige” or “Now You See Me,” steeped in lore, trickery and secrets – here relating to the tradition of safecracking. But Hatten doesn’t actually come up with that layer, and it’s especially obvious because this film is incongruously leisurely, running past 2 hours.
In this short-attention-span era, movies are getting longer, even as TV seasons get shorter. Eventually they’ll meet in the middle and every story will be 4 hours long. As with “Zack Snyder’s Justice League,” we won’t be sure if it’s a movie or miniseries. (Incidentally, “Army of the Dead” came from Snyder and he produces this prequel.)
Aware of its cliches
Although I watched “Thieves” in four 30-minute sittings, I always kinda liked it because of the characters and light humor. Everyone knows they are in a heist film, but not quite to the point of winking.
Hatten undercuts cliches here and there. Sebastian says “Gulp” when he gulps, and the others point it out. When he throws a punch at a villain’s face, it makes a real-world smacking sound and he hurts his hand.
Everyone has their quirks, and I like how they like each other. Team leader Gwendoline (soft-featured Nathalie Emmanuel) is Sebastian’s would-be belle, security hacker Korina (Ruby O. Fee) is adorkable, Brad Cage (Stuart Martin) fancies himself the action-hero offspring of Brad Pitt and Nic Cage, and getaway driver Rolph (Guz Khan) likes sub sandwiches.
Lazy day entertainment
Even the antagonists are amusing, with an Interpol assistant asking her boss “Did you just say ‘T-minus’?” The boss, Delacroix (Jonathan Cohen), has a backstory feud with Cage, who shot him in the buttocks in a past encounter.
Although “Thieves” has violence, no one is killed. The team uses knock-out darts in their bank takeovers. The film chooses likability over layers every time.
Hatten clearly had fun writing this thing on a quip-by-quip basis. The danger of the surface-level approach is: Do we really care about these people, or even think of them as real? During the run time, sure, more or less. Afterward, not really.
I would follow these thieves into another film, but I’d need a brief refresher on who they are. Like one quippy line from each.
I gave a positive review to “Army of the Dead” for the same reason as this prequel: It’s throwaway fun. These films come from competent, witty moviemakers who love the art of film but don’t worship it. And perhaps they know their own limits.