“My Bloody Valentine” (2009) – as endemic to 2009 as the original is to 1981 — is a generic, gory slasher movie, but it embraces this identity, adds in a not-too-dumb mystery and invites us on the ride. I watched it on my 2D TV but intellectually appreciated how it incorporates the gore-ific 3D moments – and there are a lot of them, many remixed from the O.G. movie — into the story’s flow.
I’m sure audiences were screaming and cringing, especially during the scene where a victim’s face is pushed toward a protruding pickax – the preferred weapon of the villain, a supposedly dead miner. Weirdly, the 3D sequences look different – although this is not possible, it looks like the 24 frames-per-second presentation changes to 48 fps – and that took me out of the movie a tiny bit.
Some in this Pennsylvania coal mining town think the serial killer is Harry Warden (Rich Walters), resurrected and out for revenge. But since “MBV” doesn’t introduce supernatural elements, it’s more likely one of our main characters is the killer.
“My Bloody Valentine” (2009)
Director: Patrick Lussier
Writers: Todd Farmer, Zane Smith (screenplay); John Beaird (original screenplay); Stephen A. Miller (original story)
Stars: Jensen Ackles, Jaime King, Kerr Smith
Writers Todd Farmer and Zane Smith craft a decent whodunit (or “who’s doing it”). Most of the characters are vaguely unlikeable, because we have to think they might be the killer, but I like the actors. We have Kerr Smith (“Dawson’s Creek”) as the sheriff; Jensen Ackles (“Dark Angel”) as the son of the deceased mine owner; Jaime King (“Star Wars: The Clone Wars”) as the sheriff’s wife; and Betsy Rue as their friend, possibly setting a record for most time spent naked on screen in an R (rather than X) movie.
Mystery mine ride
The writers and director Patrick Lussier, a schlock-horror veteran, start the movie in what seems like a dumb way but is actually smart. Eleven years before the film’s present day, a mistake by Ackles’ Tom traps a half-dozen miners in a cave-in; Harry Warden survives, in a coma. Then we jump ahead one year and Warden goes on a slaughter spree, nicely showcasing the 3D tech.
It seems like too much too soon, with no way to fill the rest of the runtime. But then we do the second jump forward, to present day, and “MBV” can begin to build suspense and character motivations in the traditional manner.
The mine setting and surrounding woods are reasonably evocative, and I love the abandoned, dilapidated home of Tom’s late father near the shaft entrance. I wouldn’t say “MBV” rises to the level of being a mood piece; the 1981 film gets more grit, grime and chill out of the mines. But I do like how everyone is a suspect, and when each one is picked off (pun accidental, but I’ll keep it) it’s worth a quirk of the eyebrow.
I did successfully guess the killer about midway through, but it’s from me being in step with the writers’ cleverness rather than because the mystery is too easy to solve. Fitting the dark holiday theme, the final showdown finds our heroine holding a gun on her husband and her ex, one of whom is the killer, both of whom point to the other.
Usually, “who should the Final Girl trust” scenes are painful to watch because we inexplicably know the guys better than the heroine does. See “Scream 2.” But here either possibility is equally likely, and the script isn’t overly reliant on convenient withholding of information. “My Bloody Valentine” 2009 is as slick as it is gory, and I kind of wish I would’ve seen it in 3D in theaters.