Part of the fun of bad 1980s action movies was that they had a ridiculous plot to hang the action on. Part of why “The Expendables 2” isn’t quite as fun as those old-school movies is that it doesn’t really have a plot — it’s too aware of the silliness of the genre to fully embrace it, being content to efficiently go through the motions.
So, just like the first installment, “The Expendables 2” is stupid, breezy and cartoonishly violent with a visual grittiness, few and far between doses of humor and one stab at an emotional arc that inevitably falls flat. All of the classic action heroes are paraded out to get their little moments in the spotlight. Sometimes it results in a great gag, such as the Chuck Norris-ism delivered by the man himself. And sometimes it feels forced, like when Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Willis trade catchphrases.
Schwarzenegger says at one point that they should all be in a museum, and indeed, he looks a bit older than his contemporaries, no doubt because of his time in politics. Sylvester Stallone looks ragged but ripped, as does his “Rocky IV” rival Dolph Lundgren. Jean-Claude Van Damme, as the villain, can still deliver the roundhouse kicks. Norris is in fine form, too.
They aren’t all museum pieces. Contemporary action star Jason Statham is back as Stallone’s best buddy on the mercenary squad. Randy Couture and big-gun-toting Terry Crews, along with newcomer Liam Hemsworth as a disillusioned Army grunt, round out the unit. Jet Li bows out, only showing up for a cameo, while Nan Yu joins up as Willis’ agent, the token female on the mission.
Everyone seems to be having a good time, and there are rare doses of humor at the expense of Lundgren’s chemistry skills. But it mostly seems rushed. Once an award-winning screenwriter, Stallone — who co-wrote “The Expendables 2” — seems to be either running out of inspiration or just cranking out a script so he can hang out with his pals in front of the camera.
While not as clever as this concept should be, it’s still a fair amount of fun just to see all these action stars doing their thing. But “The Expendables 2” lives up to its title; you’ll forget everything about it by the time the credits are done rolling.