The “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” series began in 1974 with psychological horror so effective that many critics dismissed director Tobe Hooper’s film as going beyond bad into the realm of unacceptable. Concurrent with “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre’s” reappraisal as an all-time classic have come sequels, remakes, premakes and requels. Terminology and too-similar titles aside, they are all attempts to recapture some of the original’s now-acknowledged genius.
Because each comes from a different filmmaker (aside from Hooper’s and screenwriter Kim Henkel’s cracks at revisiting their saga), we’ve essentially gotten eight different takes on how the franchise should continue. And because tastes vary, “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” rankings tend to differ wildly across the web. So now it’s my turn to pull the cord and give you my list, from rusty to cutting-edge. (Click on each title for my full review.)
9. “Texas Chainsaw” (2013)
I’ve found the 21st century “TCM” films to be good, sometimes great, but this is a glaring exception. “TCM ’13” is lazily dumb. In the cold open, set the morning after the 1974 film’s events, the creepiness is squandered for a standard showdown between anti-outsider rednecks and the ultimate outsiders, the Sawyer family. Except the Sawyers aren’t nearly as weird now, since there is another Sawyer household nearby where the relatively normal ones live. Then we jump ahead four decades to follow Alexandra Daddario’s Heather – who has aged only two decades since her appearance as a baby. Sigh. Some might argue for “so bad it’s good” status for director John Luessenhop’s entry (released to theaters in 3D), but even the kills are only blandly competent – CGI chainsaw-ings, for instance. “TCM ’13” might be more watchable than the next two entries on my list – after all, Heather is quite youthful and hot for a 40-something relative of inbred cannibals — but at least those filmmakers’ brains are engaged.
8. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2” (1986)
Director Hooper’s sequel changes the spelling of “chainsaw” and adds a “2” yet features basically the same script, even though it has a new writer (L.M. Kit Carson). The difference is the tone: Hooper shoots this one as a comedy, exaggerating everything to pound home the point that it’s silly. Instead of the wiggins-inducing implication that the family eats human meat, we’re asked to laugh as The Cook (a scenery-chewing Jim Siedow) wins a barbecue contest with said human meat. I had enough of the joke halfway through; the second half is an ordeal on par with being a dinner guest of the Sawyers. I know other fans rank this as high as No. 2, but as with judging a barbecue contest, it comes down to personal taste.
7. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Next Generation” (1995)
Now it’s Henkel’s turn to try satirizing the original. While he’s not as good of a director as Hooper, and while “Next Gen” doesn’t induce riotous laughter, at 87 minutes this is easier to sit through than “TCM2.” Yes, “easier to sit through” becomes a factor among these lower ranks. Although Matthew McConaughey and Renee Zellweger would like to erase this from their resumes, they aren’t bad – he as an increasingly crazy Slaughter family member, she as an increasingly brave Final Girl. Adding a fascinating talking point to the all-too-familiar plot is Henkel’s failed attempt at a “Cabin in the Woods”-style commentary about how horror is a necessary aspect of life … or something like that.
6. “Leatherface: The Texas Chainsaw Massacre III” (1990)
The series finally fits snugly with Eighties slasher staples thanks to this installment from director Jeff Burr. Its continuity makes no sense – the Sawyers still haven’t been caught even though people keep disappearing in their neck of the woods. (I use “woods” purposefully, as this California-shot film trades out the dusty Texas plains.) Even weirder, this notoriously inbred family who subsists on human flesh somehow has a member who looks like Hollywood hunk Viggo Mortensen. (This odd trend would continue – see McConaughey and Daddario.) Still, “TCM3” is stupidly watchable. It serves up those mildly scary but ultimately silly moments that defined slashers in an era when the MPAA heavily censored violence.
5. “Leatherface” (2017)
Directors Julien Maury and Alexandre Bustillo give the title character a robust backstory. They achieve this in skewed fashion via a mystery about which of these 1950s asylum escapees will grow up to be Leatherface. I guessed correctly, which I suppose proves the filmmakers telegraph it too much. Another flaw is the lack of a gritty appearance. The film looks too slick to take place before the original, although the woods do look more foreboding than in the other woods-based entry, “TCM3.” But the cast of little-known actors (outside of Stephen Dorff and Lili Taylor) amiably throw themselves into a romp of gore and universally unpredictable behavior. “Leatherface” finds a fresh angle into the off-kilter aesthetic of the saga, respectably landing it in the middle of this list.
4. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2003)
Nearly three decades after the original, we finally get another scary installment. At the leading edge of the wave of classic horror remakes, “TCM ’03” gets back to middle-of-nowhere psychological horror as a group of travelers gradually gets in over their heads in the 1970s. Director Marcus Nispel’s film cares about logistics, as we find the local sheriff is in on the scheme of the crooked cannibal family (now called the Hewitts). Jessica Biel, aggressively breaking from her “7th Heaven” days to join this sweaty project, is the first name-actor (at the time of release) Final Girl of the franchise, as slashers had now become respectable. Hooper’s perfect classic didn’t need to be remade. But since it was, I’m glad the remake is good.
3. “Texas Chainsaw Massacre” (2022)
This half-century-later direct sequel leans into the social commentary, as generation gaps and cultural values must be reconciled in a Texas ghost town near Leatherface’s haunts. Boomer Sally (Olwen Fouéré, taking over for the late Marilyn Burns) is forced to trust these Gen-Z’ers, one of whom (star-in-the-making Elsie Fisher) survived a school shooting and can barely touch a gun, let alone use it. A busload of partyers lives in a world of cellphone videos and hashtags but now encounters an evil that can’t be reasoned with, let alone canceled. The jaw-dropping, blue-tinged bus massacre splits director David Blue Garcia’s film into “two Americas,” illustrating the artificiality of one and the absurdity of the other. Despite functioning as a satire, “TCM ’22” also plays as plain-ole good horror, with intense framing and creatively gory kills.
2. “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre: The Beginning” (2006)
Prequels can fall into a trap of playing it safe, but director Jonathan Liebesman’s lead-in to the ’03 film gloriously avoids that. “The Beginning” peppers in commentary on the Vietnam War and society’s devaluing of life in the 1960s. That somewhat gets lost because Leatherface’s kills are so horrific that warfare eventually seems quaint. “The Beginning” came out in the heart of the “torture porn” era, and that label is earned with nightmarishly gory violence, but also with acting expertise. This is Jordana Brewster’s elite performance; she sells blood-spattered Chrissie’s shock at every twist and turn amid a harrowing survival situation. It makes her the best Final Girl since Burns’ Sally.
1. “The Texas Chain Saw Massacre” (1974)
Some reckon this to be the first slasher, but it doesn’t quite fit the label because these road-tripping teens are rarely chased. Instead, they innocently wander into the lion’s den. Burns, though, is perhaps the first Final Girl. The fact that Sally Hardesty randomly survives rather than being a Chosen One of sorts (like Laurie Strode or Sydney Prescott) enhances the realism. As the two comedic sequels – Hooper’s and Henkel’s attempts to find the tone they were aiming for all along – attest, the ’74 original was accidentally great. Hooper and Henkel misfired on their try at a dark comedy. Instead, they triggered the dark idea in all of us that some people, perhaps living in the scrubs of Texas off the beaten path, exist — and even thrive — outside civilized norms. These young people aren’t suspicious of strangers. People in the real world learned to be suspicious after seeing this movie.