“Piranha” (1978) is sometimes described as a “Jaws” parody, but really it’s a knockoff of the 1975 Steven Spielberg classic, with any laughs being broad or unintentional. Yet it undeniably has a place in monster movie history: It’s among the most popular B-movies from producer Roger Corman’s factory and it’s directed by Joe Dante, who would go on to helm the legitimate classic “Gremlins.” Remarkably, the “Piranha” franchise now includes five films, one more than the “Jaws” series.
Cheap remake of a cheap knockoff
Bizarrely, “Piranha” was remade by director Scott P. Levy in 1995 for Showtime in nearly shot-by-shot fashion, with writer Alex Simon barely updating John Sayles’ original screenplay. It trades out C-list actors for B-list actors and beefs up the story of bigwig J.R. Randolph (Monte Markham) opening a lake resort. But 90 percent of it is a scene-for-scene reshoot.
“Piranha ’95” includes bigger and better piranha puppets, but it also recycles a lot of the cheesy shots from “Piranha ’78,” including humorous inserts of a school of plastic sunfish moving through the murk. Both versions feature a screechy sound effect to try to make the piranha attacks scary.
“Piranha” (1978)
Director: Joe Dante
Writers: John Sayles (screenplay, story), Richard Robinson (story)
Stars: Bradford Dillman, Heather Menzies-Urich, Kevin McCarthy
Piranha attacks should be scary – arguably even scarier than shark attacks, since they swim in vicious packs, can attack multiple people at once and are hard to distract or evade. But both films evoke a mood like when you were a kid playing in the water and imagining piranha are attacking you, so you have to balance on your innertube without touching the water.
There’s definitely something amusing about swimmers screaming and swarming out of the lake – at both a kids’ summer camp and the resort grand opening — some of them covered in wound makeup and prosthetics. But scary? Not exactly.
Mila and Punky
“Piranha ’78” doesn’t include any actors I had heard of, but “Piranha ’95” has some fun appearances. It marks Mila Kunis’ first screen role, as Susie, a camper who is scared of the water. And “Punky Brewster” veteran Soleil Moon Frye plays Laura, a counselor who comforts Susie.
In a subplot added to the remake, Leland Orser (“Alien Resurrection”) plays a videographer who draws the interest of a flirty woman at the resort who hopes to get into Hollywood.
“Piranha” (1995)
Director: Scott P. Levy
Writers: Alex Simon; John Sayles (original film)
Stars: William Katt, Alexandra Paul, Monte Markham
Both versions follow Paul, a frustrated environmentalist, and Maggie, a tracker of the missing teens who we know from the opening segment have been eaten by piranha. “Piranha ’95’s” William Katt and Alexandra Paul have better chemistry than “Piranha ’78’s” Bradford Dillman and Heather Menzies. (Both versions wag their finger at the government that secretly breeds mutant piranha near a waterway, but that’s more of a plot point than a theme.)
Not as good as it thinks it is
The 1978 version’s clunkiness – the inescapable fact that we’re watching a cheap production – might have nostalgic appeal for some, as it calls to mind the bad acting and writing of, for example, the “Friday the 13th” movies. The weird creative misfires are kind of fascinating, too, like the stop-motion lizard creatures creeping around the piranha-growing lab.
Part of why “Piranha ’78” doesn’t play as a parody is because it thinks it’s better than it is, as illustrated in a scene when a character is watching a B-monster flick on TV. Those in-jokes only fit in A-list monster movies, when we’re supposed to believe what we’re watching is grounded in reality.
The 1995 version is slicker, and it goes bigger in crass ways such as the piranha puppet improvements and having a larger-breasted gal in the opening skinny-dip sequence at the lab site. But the remake only tiptoes toward justifying its existence.
It is mildly engaging to watch nearly identical movies back to back, as with the 1960 and 1998 “Psychos,” just to see the actors’ interpretations – much like when we attend a production of a play we’re familiar with. Still, it’s bizarre that they mounted a whole movie production to faithfully remake a dumb B-movie rather than trying to seriously improve upon it.