Edgar Allan Poe is the godfather of both the horror and mystery genres so it’s appropriate that filmmaking friends George A. Romero (the “Dead” series) and Dario Argento (“Suspiria” and classic giallo films) join forces for “Two Evil Eyes” (1990). With everything pointing to an obvious success, it’s remarkable how bad the film is.
Subconsciously deliberate
The diptych adapts Poe’s “The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar” (1845), courtesy of Romero, and “Black Cat” (1843), courtesy of Argento; both move the action to contemporary Pittsburgh. Both are in that subgenre wherein bad people try to hide a corpse, and we hope they will get away with it because they are the main characters. These types of stories can be intense and/or darkly humorous.
Although I’m not the biggest Poe fan – while also acknowledging that many things I do like can be traced back to him – I liked Mike Flanagan’s “Fall of the House of Usher” and I thought “Evil Eye” would be an easy, if breezy, experience.
“Two Evil Eyes” (1990)
Directors: Dario Argento, George A. Romero
Writers: George A. Romero, Dario Argento, Franco Ferrini; Edgar Allan Poe (stories)
Stars: Adrienne Barbeau, Harvey Keitel, Ramy Zada
In “The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar,” lovers Jessica (Adrienne Barbeau) and Robert (Ramy Zada) must hide for a few weeks the fact that Jessica’s titular sugar daddy (Bingo O’Malley) has died. If they succeed, Jessica’s inheritance will come through.
Poe’s concept doesn’t totally make sense, although it should nonetheless be creepy: Because Valdemar expired while under hypnosis, his subconscious is still alive, and trapped, and it can somehow verbally communicate with Jessica and Robert.
Why doesn’t the wiggy nature of this concept shine through? I think it’s because of the length – it’s a 1-hour story when it could be a “Black Mirror” episode of 44 minutes at the most. And also because we’re supposed to be horrified by zombies when we’ve already been desensitized to them. Because we know the zombified people, it should be creepier. It’s possible that Romero’s specific type of mastery – zombie hordes on a large scale – doesn’t translate to an intimate tale.
Ushering in a feline frenzy
“Black Cat” is less bad, but still not good. Argento’s unapologetic dislike of cats (at least in his films) is on full display, with Harvey Keitel’s Rod Usher as his stand-in. Fitting the Argento mold, Rod and his girlfriend, Annabel (Madeleine Potter), are artists – a photographer and a violinist, respectively.
Argento delivers one of his all-time best moments of gore near the end, but it has little impact due to the overall predictability of the story wherein Rod tries to get rid of his girlfriend and her beloved cat with nine lives, dodge the cops and return to sanity. There’s never any question that he has no chance.
Although it’s obvious Argento would have affinity for “Black Cat,” and although you’d think adapting an established story would serve him well (since scripts are considered his weak point), the film doesn’t snap into place. It’s always a fine line to walk, but more often than not, his stories’ weird traits are a feature more than a bug. Something as straightforward as “Black Cat” therefore feels like it is missing something.
Both hourlong films were shot in Romero’s Pittsburgh, “Valdemar” featuring a yuppie mansion and “Cat” featuring an old brownstone. “Two Evil Eyes” looks nice in its 2019 restoration but doesn’t give us a lot to look at. The first entry is especially interior-laden; the second breathes more, and almost achieves a dark-comic chuckle in the way Rod tries to make it look like his girlfriend has gone on vacation.
Look for one minor but delightful turn in “Cat,” when “Buffy’s” Julie Benz has her first role, as a violin student. Even a young Darla isn’t enough to recommend “Two Evil Eyes” though. Bizarrely, the can’t-miss combination of Poe, Romero and Argento is dreadfully boring.
“The Facts in the Case of Mr. Valdemar”: 1.5 stars
“Black Cat”: 2.5 stars