I wish I could take a time machine back to before I bought my ticket to ‘Hot Tub Time Machine’ (Movie review)

The first sign that the characters have gone back in time in “Hot Tub Time Machine”: No cell phone reception. The second sign: A guy is talking on a giant portable phone.

Ah, 1986, when phones were gigantic and communication wasn’t as convenient as it is today. When Jacob (Clark Duke) meets a girl at a concert and asks “How do I get in touch with you?,” she gets a quizzical look, then simply says, “Find me.” Because that’s how it was done back then.

Traveling back to the pre-cell phone age is a wonderful notion. I like watching old movies and TV shows (or new movies or TV shows set in the past) for this very reason. Entire plots of old movies and TV shows wouldn’t exist if a cell phone were inserted into the equation (think of horror movies where a helpless victim is being chased, and then imagine a cell phone in her pocket).

And I love the innocence of these worlds where not only are cell phones missing but, more importantly, no one knows what they are missing. For example, I love watching “Beverly Hills, 90210” reruns where Brandon is on a road trip and he uses a pay phone to call home.

In addition to the technological changes since 1986, there is other good nostalgia to be mined from the plot of “Hot Tub Time Machine”: The Drive from the Broncos-Browns playoff game, the music of Poison (somehow it has gotten more awful with age, so hearing it in a 1986 setting isn’t so bad), leg warmers and humorous hairstyles on black people.

However, the overall movie does not work. It’s paced far too slowly. A subplot about Chevy Chase as the hot tub repairman exists only to explain the time travel. It’s not necessary: If we are willing to watch a movie called “Hot Tub Time Machine,” we’ve already decided to suspend disbelief. We need no further convincing. This subplot is also unfunny and unintelligible.

Chase isn’t the only wasted talent. Consider this cast: Craig Robinson (awesome as Darryl on “The Office”), John Cusack (always likable), Rob Corddry (a fairly funny guy), Duke (the other half of Michael Cera’s Web show) and Lizzy Caplan (a girl you’ve seen in lot of stuff but can’t quite place).

These are all characters we’ve decided we like before the movie begins, simply because we like the actors. But then the movie gets going, and we find out they’re not particularly likeable.

Corddry plays that one guy in a group of friends who is actually a complete a*****e, but, as Nick (Robinson) puts it: “He’s our a*****e.” Even Cusack’s ‘shroom-eating, bong-sucking Adam is hard to root for. He laments about how he broke up with his dream girl for no reason — something that makes him seem like a moron. But then (SPOILER ALERT) she breaks up with him for no reason, something that makes the movie seem moronic and lazy.

“Hot Tub Time Machine” has good moments (I admit I smiled a few times, even if I didn’t laugh), but no momentum. If you want to see a smart dumb comedy, this ain’t it. You’ll have to take a time machine back to 1995 and buy a ticket to “Dumb & Dumber” instead.