‘Weird Science’ (1985) probably couldn’t be made today

Weird Science

Many moments in “Weird Science” (1985) – the third directorial effort from writer John Hughes – make me think “This movie couldn’t be made today.” Geeks Gary (Anthony Michael Hall) and Wyatt (Ilan Mitchell-Smith) build a girl for the purpose of having sex with her (albeit vaguely), and Lisa (Kelly LeBrock) regularly speaks of how they own her.

Lisa, clearly an adult, kisses Wyatt, who hasn’t hit puberty. The heroes defeat the evil motorcycle gang by standing up to them and calling them “f-g—s.” (Granted, that slur is always used in Hughes’ movies – because of his era – but here it’s used heroically.)

Geeks into heroes

But thank god it was made, because “Weird Science” stands beside the equally problematic for the PC crowd “Revenge of the Nerds” (1984) as one of the core films that turn geeks into heroes. I like this one more because it’s professionally made, the laughs come consistently, and – although the “Frankenstein”-cribbed premise departs from reality – the final lesson is realistic.

Although it’s true that Deb (Suzanne Snyder) likes Gary for who he is, there’s no doubt that a bump in confidence is why Gary and Wyatt find success with the ladies. That’s how life works.

As with “The Breakfast Club” from earlier in the year, casting is crucial to “Weird Science’s” success. Following smaller roles in “Sixteen Candles” and “Breakfast Club,” Hall is ready to carry the show.

The actor sells the blues bar sequence where a shot of bourbon leads Gary to trade heartbreak tales with the wise old regulars. We see that boys’ and men’s problems with the opposite sex aren’t terribly different – only the manner of speaking about them is. Hall pairs nicely with Mitchell-Smith, another high-voiced gangly kid.

In addition to archetypal Eighties coeds Deb and Hilly (Judie Aronson), we also get Robert Downey Jr. as Ian, one of the geeks’ two tormentors.

Classic bullies

Downey also serves as an Eighties fashion template with shorts, a sport jacket and layered hair. Bullies of that decade spent more time on their hair than modern gay teens.

And then there’s Bill Paxton as Chet, the older brother who is home on a break from military school and tasked with watching Wyatt for their folks.

For younger viewers, Chet is terrifying, but on this viewing I appreciated Paxton’s amusing performance, which no doubt served as a springboard for his “Aliens” role the next year.

In the scene where Chet torments a lineup of partygoers, some of the actors can be seen breaking character and stifling laughs.

Laughs from small moments

Hughes’ previous high school films are dramatic, so he cuts loose and has fun on “Weird Science.” The hootenanny at Wyatt’s house makes the “Sixteen Candles” party look like a small gathering. A piano flies through the chimney and crushes a gazebo.

Although a lot of time is spent on the creation of Lisa – which is basically a “Frankenstein” redux – her magical powers are unexplained. But that’s not a problem, because they are easy to understand. Her powers lead to a lot of the humor, including turning Chet into a poop monster.

However, it’s the smaller moments that had me laughing the most, like when Wyatt is hiding in the bathroom, dealing with stomach issues, because he’s scared to join the party. Enhanced by some on-point bathroom humor (“Light a match or something! Light a fire!”), this sequences shows Wyatt and Gary as fully rendered, foible-filled people.

With “Weird Science,” Hughes is having a good time and not trying to reinvent anything. Still, when put against your average 1980s teen raunch-fest, it boasts more depth, feeling and humor.

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My rating: