Despite team-up, ‘Karate Kid: Legends’ is legendarily dull

If “Karate Kid: Legends” was merely a flat sequel to 2010’s “Karate Kid” – about the next kid, Li Fong (Ben Wang), mentored by Jackie Chan’s Han – I’d say “Man, they could’ve spiced it up by at least bringing in Daniel LaRusso.” As it turns out, the filmmakers are smart enough to do that, as Ralph Macchio’s Daniel does indeed stop in after the wild events of “Cobra Kai” (2018-25).

But a flat sequel remains a flat sequel, especially with none of the “Cobra Kai” crew carrying over. Director Jonathan Entwistle’s “Legends” throws a lot at the screen that adds up to little. At first, writer Rob Lieber seems to be retelling the classic tale, adding artificial, schizophrenic complexity, but no layers.

Following a white boy, a white girl, a black kid and a gaggle of high schoolers, we now have a Chinese kid in the title role. Following Los Angeles and China, we’re now in New York. Following karate and kung-fu, we now have a mix of karate, kung-fu and boxing; Li’s girlfriend’s dad (Joshua Jackson) is a boxer-turned-pizzeria-owner.

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The way these fighting arts mix together isn’t delved into in a detailed way, nor does it inspire me to do a deeper dive. The fight scenes are OK, as once again the franchise has cast a kid who can do the moves. But unlike “Cobra Kai,” which understood the actors provided their own flair, “Legends” uses fast-moving cameras and edits. It’s not a return to the dregs of overly kinetic Aughts action, but it’s not good either.

Both thin-crust and overstuffed

The aforementioned girlfriend is Mia, played by star-in-the-making Sadie Stanely of “Cruel Summer” Season 2. Li and Mia make for a cute pair, starting with his gaffe of inquiring about stuffed-crust pizza in the heart of the city. As Mia’s dad, Jackson exudes low-key charisma that dates back to “Dawson’s Creek,” and he briefly gets to be Rocky Balboa Lite. Li’s mom is played by Ming-Na Wen, so respected as an action hero from “Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D.” that it’s hard to remember she’s not going to join a fight herself.

Instead, Dr. Fong takes the ignorant position that her son can avoid fights if he wants to. Li can’t, because he’s in a “Karate Kid” movie. If he so much as looks at Mia, her ex, Conor – the jerk leader of Brookyln’s evil dojo – becomes his mortal enemy. Aramis Knight gets this thankless role. Imagine playing the Johnny Lawrence knockoff in a sequel to a remake that had a Johnny knockoff that everyone has forgotten. And meanwhile fans don’t even have to settle for you, because the O.G. Johnny (William Zabka) has long since shed his cliched villain status.

Perhaps missed most of all from “CK” is the Daniel-Johnny odd-couple humor; Macchio’s most legendary acting strength is being a straight man to Zabka. Daniel is here, yes, but it’s just a bunch of wistful scenes with Han, recalling that they both knew Miyagi, who promoted the “Two branches, one tree” bond between karate and kung-fu (although he never bothered to mention this to his students).

“Legends” actually looks great, showcasing rooftops backed by vibrant skylines. For a while, the fresh elements are enough to distract us from the general “picked-on kid learns to fight back in noble fashion” structure. It’s nice that these people are bonding, but it’s a paint-by-numbers cross-cultural Kum Ba Yah. And the plot folds in on itself, unable to resist the magnetic pull of a climactic tournament where the in-universe betting odds would be 100-1 against Li and the viewer’s betting odds would be the opposite.

It’s weird that “Legends” arrives so soon after “Cobra Kai,” as this accentuates how empty this franchise can be when it sets aside most of the best characters and the crackling energy of those teens’ dramas and tells a random new kid’s generic journey. Even if the actors are fine, and even if NYC looks nice, and even if the saga’s two branches are now tied together, it’s still a predictable, humorless remake. It’s stuffed, yet somehow it’s still thin-crust.