I had some issues with the unlikable characters and dishonest “found footage” premise of 2012’s “V/H/S.” But at least that horror anthology has solid entries from David Bruckner and Ti West. The sequel, “V/H/S/2” (2013), shows it can get worse … much worse. It continues the former’s problems and simply doesn’t boast any great short films.
The framing mechanism finds a man and woman breaking into a house to look for evidence of a missing college student. They find the same setup of numerous TVs and VCRs as in the first film. The woman then watches the tapes (which we also see) in mesmerized fashion while the man searches the house.
Like the original but more so, “V/H/S/2” isn’t truly “found footage.” It’s handheld – with all the jerkiness that entails – but often times additional camera angles pop up without explanation of why or how that additional camera is suddenly there. Since this is now common in this genre, I’m guessing it doesn’t bother most viewers, but I find it distracting.
“V/H/S/2” (2013)
Directors: Simon Barrett, Jason Eisener, Gareth Evans, Gregg Hale, Eduardo Sánchez, Timo Tjahjanto, Adam Wingard
Writers: Simon Barrett, Jamie Nash, Timo Tjahjanto, Gareth Evans, Jason Eisener, John Davies, Brad Miska
Stars: Adam Wingard, Hannah Hughes, Jay Saunders
The special effects – monsters, aliens and general gore – are by far the highlight of “V/H/S/2.” If you come for that stuff, you might be impressed. If you come for story or characters, you couldn’t have made a worse selection.
On to the rankings, with the director in parentheses. (SPOILERS FOLLOW.)
1. “A Ride in the Park” (Eduardo Sánchez and Gregg Hale)
These “Blair Witch Project” veterans deliver the least-bad of the bunch. A man is bicycling on a wooded path when he’s attacked and turned by a zombie. Dark-comedy goofiness comes from the fact that this is all recorded by his helmet cam (plus other unexplained cameras at times, sigh). This entry is hurt by the fact that we could see top-shelf zombie gore every week on “The Walking Dead” at this point. And when the zombie invades a kid’s birthday party, I hoped it would be funnier.
2. “Slumber Party Alien Abduction” (Jason Eisener)
Eisener helmed the great grindhouse throwback “Hobo with a Shotgun,” and this one starts out fun with a bunch of snot-nosed kids who behave as badly as the “V/H/S” saga’s adult jerks, mainly by playing pranks on an older sister and her boyfriend (also jerks, natch). Later, the alien special effects and nighttime mood are well done in an artistic sense. As with every entry, I don’t care about the characters nor their inevitable fates.
3. “Phase I Clinical Trials” (Adam Wingard)
Wingard perhaps got the “Blair Witch 3” directing assignment based on this story of a guy who is fitted with a bionic camera eye. This doesn’t match with modern technology, but whatever – if it’s a good enough yarn, I’d be willing to go with it. It’s not, though. The eye allows him (or curses him, as it were) to not only see the ghosts in his house but also to be susceptible to the ghosts’ attacks. Most inexcusably, even though we’re told this eye-camera films everything, “Phase I” edits out what could’ve been funny or titillating parts of his daily life.
4. “Safe Haven” (Timo Tjahjanto and Gareth Evans)
This entry has the most ambition: A film crew documents a cult religion; the leader agrees to the filming in order to show the world the cult’s normalcy. Wildly staged but ultimately generic terror ensues, culminating in the inexplicable birth of an animalistic devil. “Safe Haven” encapsulates the aesthetic of a lot of these “V/H/S” shorts: Throw a bunch of insanity at the screen; don’t worry about explaining it. This is scary to some people, but I need more mood or surprises. Sheer chaos gives me a headache. Kudos to one actor, though, for topping “BWP’s” Heather Donahue for the most snot produced in a terrified facial close-up.
5. Tape 49/frame narrative (Simon Barrett)
The absurd number of cameras this pair of private investigators puts on themselves as they search the house and watch videos is distractingly unlikely. Ultimately, as with the original, the house’s resident is a flesh-eating zombie. Ho-hum.