George Lucas used to talk about how he waited to do the “Star Wars” prequels till the special effects technology caught up with his vision. The “Piranha” franchise, which started in the Roger Corman schlock factory, was less deliberate about its planning process, but the same principle applies. Parts one (1978) and two (1982), and even the 1995 remake of part one, were made without modern tech tools.
Modern special effects
“Piranha 3D” (2010) (whether it’s part three or a new series is unclear, but it doesn’t matter in the narrative) has a fuller toolbox. Granted, not every special effects shot is flawless. And when watching at home, the 3D shots aren’t in 3D, but they remain duo-toned for the purposes of that tech. Still, the prehistoric killer piranhas are notably more vicious and threatening than in the 20th century productions.
Not every shot is wholly believable, but there’s an implied pact between filmmaker and audience that we’ll go with it. In the opening sequence, Richard Dreyfuss (the first of many seemingly “too good for this film” actors) is bass fishing when a fissure opens up beneath the lake and he becomes the first victim. It doesn’t quite look real, but it is wildly imaginative. I was hooked.
“Piranha 3D” (2010)
Director: Alexandre Aja
Writers: Pete Goldfinger, Josh Stolberg
Stars: Elisabeth Shue, Jerry O’Connell, Steven R. McQueen
Director Alexandre Aja knows how to make quality schlock (pardon the contradiction), as also seen in “The Hills Have Eyes” (2006) and “Crawl” (2019). “P3” gives us laughs and shocks at a brisk, entertaining pace. Writers Pete Goldfinger and Josh Stolberg write a smart script for an inherently dumb movie.
“P3” is “Piranha” on steroids, and this makes it superior in every way. It even features beautiful Vernean underwater cave footage and briefly compelling pseudo-science spouted by Christopher Lloyd in his hyper “Back to the Future” mode.
Grandly gory finale
It ends, as it must, with an orgy of violence on Arizona’s Lake Victoria (It was filmed at Lake Havasu). But this time it’s not a camp of dozens but a spring break destination of hundreds.
It’s a little frustrating when the cops – Elisabeth Shue and Ving Rhames – yell at the spring breakers to NOT go in the water but they don’t say why. This encourages the drunken revelers to jump in the lake out of spite. Yet this also leads to some great practical and CGI effects gags – “P3” has at least four shots you won’t see in any ole gore flick.
Most of the actors don’t act like they regret being in this movie, which is the right approach. Everyteen Jake (Steven R. McQueen) is awkward around his crush Kelly (Jessica Szohr, “Gossip Girl”) and a notable contrast to “Girls Gone Wild” parody figure Derrick (Jerry O’Connell). These people are broad as hell, but real enough.
Everything “P3” parodies is a prepackaged insta-parody: MTV-style spring break, “Girls Gone Wild,” and of course creature features themselves. In order to be effective, “Piranha 3D” has to redefine gratuitous. While still operating within a tight plot and crisp characterizations and the need to get an R-rating rather than an X, it achieves this.
One last sequel
As dumb as “Piranha 3D” might be conceptually, Aja’s skill should be appreciated, because creature-feature sequels are more likely to turn out like … well, “Piranha 3DD” (2012). Aja hands off the reins to John Gulager and filming moves to Wilmington, N.C., for this inevitable grab at more cash, riding on the previous film’s fishtails.
This fifth “Piranha” film starts off almost as good as its predecessor, as a team of three writers approaches this material as schlock horror more so than goofy comedy. Piranha from Lake Victoria have gotten into a smaller Arizona lake because of … reasons … and now a water park is in danger because its drainage connects with the lake.
The idea of a strip-club/water-park is clever (in a gross way), and there is very, very slightly a spirit of “The Way Way Back” in how Danielle Panabaker’s Maddy and Matt Bush’s Barry recall their innocent childhood days at the park. Barry still works there, and Maddy is 49 percent owner, with her stepdad, David Koechner’s Chet, owning the controlling share.
“Piranha 3DD” (2012)
Director: John Gulager
Writers: Patrick Melton, Marcus Dunstan, Joel Soisson
Stars: Danielle Panabaker, Matt Bush, David Koechner
Even amid its montages of damp boobs set to frat rock, “Piranha 3DD” holds a straight face for a surprisingly long time. Panabaker is in that group of actresses where I don’t know if she’s good or merely cute, but I’m happy to have her in the lead.
Barry’s rivalry for Maddy’s affections, competing with corrupt cop Kyle (“The Secret Circle’s” Chris Zylka), is mildly engaging. And Koechner is amusing as the money-grubbing water-park owner, though not at the level of “P3’s” O’Connell.
Can’t take itself seriously anymore
Around the midway point, “3DD” loses the staring contest with itself. It can’t take itself pseudo-seriously any longer. It brings in cameos from “P3” actors, as well as “Baywatch’s” David Hasselhoff in an arc about how he’s down on himself for not really being a lifeguard.
The comedic premises land flat, undercutting some dark over-the-top humor that comes simply from the very-much-expected orgy of piranha attacks in the water park. When you see shredded piranhas flying through the air thanks to an under-explained chlorine-based explosion, you know “3DD” is no longer remotely serious.
While there is decent gore and one attack scene that turns a sexual encounter decidedly unsexy, “3DD” is not as daring nor memorable as its predecessor. Mixing tones is always a tricky thing. In “3D,” Aja shimmies along the tightrope. In “3DD,” Gulager and his writers say “Ah, the heck with it” about halfway through and start throwing piranhas at the wall to see if any of them stick. Most flop to the ground and die with one last wiggle.
“Piranha 3D”: 3.5 stars
“Piranha 3DD”: 2.5 stars