In my head, I had subtitled “Gilmore Girls” Season 5 (2004-05, The WB) “The Destruction of Rory’s Character,” as it starts with her sleeping with married man Dean and ends with her stealing a yacht and dropping out of Yale. And I mentally blamed her new boyfriend Logan – whose primary crime is that he’s not Dean or Jess – for a lot of that. After this rewatching, though, I see that Season 5’s problems run deeper.
Year of behaving badly
A better subtitle would be “The Year When Everyone Behaves Like an Ass Toward Everyone Else.” This domino effect started in late Season 4, when Richard backstabs Lorelai’s boyfriend Jason. At various points during Season 5, Lorelai is mean to Rory, Luke is a jerk to Dean (and later, vice versa), Emily is nasty to Christopher and Lorelai, Rory is rude to Christopher and Emily, and Mitchum wins the ultimate prize for Jerk (and Idiot) of the Year when he (ignorantly) tells Rory she’s not cut out to be a journalist.
And this is just a small sampling: Put together any two characters and odds are they treated each other like dirt at some point in Season 5.
“Gilmore Girls” Season 5 (2004-05)
WB, 22 episodes
Creator: Amy Sherman-Palladino
Stars: Lauren Graham, Alexis Bledel, Scott Patterson
Bizarrely, though, I don’t list Logan in the Parade of Jerks. While I dislike Logan, I don’t have any strong evidence to support my feelings. Logan is one of those people we’ve all met at some point whose smarminess is a millimeter below the surface, but it never emerges. Most of his friends are bona fide jerks, but even that’s not a blow against him.
As Logan says in “Pulp Friction” when Rory notes that self-centered Robert is his friend: “So what? I still hate him.” In “Jews and Chinese Food,” it’s tempting to criticize Logan for rubbing Marty’s nose in the fact that Logan won the Rory competition, but strictly speaking, he never does that: Logan invites Marty out with them and offers to pay for his dinner. With the nuance removed, it’s a nice gesture. In other words, Logan is detestable, yet there’s no way a jury could convict him of that charge.
The bad behavior throughout the cast of characters is a symptom of a step down in the show’s quality of writing. In its first four seasons, “Gilmore Girls” was a witty character drama about life in a quirky town. In Season 5, it becomes a melodrama mixed with a sitcom. While Amy Sherman-Palladino and Daniel Palladino still write more than half of the episodes (and all the best ones), the rest of the writing staff struggles mightily, and there’s less narrative flow and continuity as the sitcom style takes precedence.
For example, Paris and Doyle’s relationship is always played as a punchline, and at one point, the couple has a spat between episodes just so the next episode (“To Live and Let Diorama”) can be about Rory’s, Lane’s and Paris’ boy troubles.
Continuity gaffes
And a continuity gaffe crops up when Rory takes an internship at the Stamford Eagle-Gazette in the midst of a full class schedule and a job at the Yale Daily News. Even worse is when Taylor is still the town selectman after he loses the election to Jackson. More examples of the sitcom style come in the season finale, when an annoyed Luke chases cyclists with a bat and later brazenly walks through the middle of the course, causing a massive pileup.
Seasons 1-4 are “Gilmore Girls” in its prime, and it will never get back there (although Seasons 6 and 7 are better than Season 5, if memory serves). However, Season 5 did make me chuckle at least once an episode – while I don’t like that the writers leaned in a sitcom direction, I can’t deny that they are good at the art form.
Also, Seasons 1-4 built up so much goodwill that I still care what happens to Rory, no matter how much of an ass she’s being. It also counts for a lot that Season 5 features Luke and Lorelai as a couple the whole way through, except for a tiff during February sweeps.
It’s a bad season by “Gilmore Girls” standards, but it’s important to remember that “Gilmore Girls’ ” standards are unusually high. Here are my rankings of the 22 episodes:
1. “Written in the Stars” (episode 3, written by Amy Sherman-Palladino)
This is the classic episode where Luke and Lorelai have their first date and Luke says he’s “all in.” For all this season’s problems, the Luke-and-Lorelai relationship isn’t one of them, despite the old fear about TV couples becoming less interesting once they finally get together.
2. “Jews and Chinese Food” (15, Sherman-Palladino)
Watched from the perspective of Marty, who has unrequited feelings for his pal Rory, this is a painful episode, but portrayed with such brutal emotional honesty that I have to tip my cap. “Rory, I like you.” “I like Logan.”
Unlike Ralph Wiggum in “The Simpsons,” where you can pinpoint the exact moment where his heart breaks, Marty’s has been breaking throughout the episode (and since Season 4, really). Let’s hope Marty can move on to better things, like dating Krysten Ritter or something. From the amusing guest actor department, look for the first significant appearance as Riki Lindhome (Garfunkel from Garfunkel and Oates) as one of Logan’s upper-crust friends.
3. “But Not as Cute as Pushkin” (10, Sherman-Palladino)
The ongoing joke of Rory showing 15-year-old Chilton student Anna around the Yale campus, and Anna constantly loving things about college she’s not supposed to love, is masterfully executed. On the downside, the first example of the sitcom nature of Paris-and-Doyle comes when Paris’ life coach mediates a talk about their relationship via speaker phone (although I admit I chuckled at the visual gag).
4. “But I’m a Gilmore!” (19, Sherman-Palladino)
I like how Luke competently takes over Sookie’s chef job in a pinch. I always thought those two should get along better since they are both in the restaurant business. And seeing the Huntzberger mansion, which makes Richard and Emily’s place look like a shack, is hilarious, even though I recognize the portrayal of the awful Huntzberger elders as a contrivance to get us to like Logan, Rory and the elder Gilmores by comparison.
5. “Say Something” (14, Daniel Palladino)
This is a Lauren Graham acting showcase as she sinks into a depression after Luke breaks up with her. It features a rare, but refreshing, dream sequence when Lorelai imagines Luke pouring his heart out to her while she just sits there. On the Rory front, she takes a significant step into Logan’s spoiled-rich world when she uses his limo and chauffeur to go to Stars Hollow. “I’m not usually in a limo,” she explains to Luke, who is honking from his truck.
6. “A House is Not a Home” (22, Sherman-Palladino)
The season-long undercurrent of Machiavellian scheming ends in victory for the elder Gilmores, who wrest control of Rory from Lorelai. Setting the stage for Season 6, Rory will stay in the pool house where Emily and Richard can keep an eye on her, with the ultimate goal of getting her to return to Yale. One scene can’t salvage a season, but the year’s final scene tries its darnedest as Luke goes on an endearing rant about how Rory can’t quit Yale. Then Lorelai, in perfect harmony with what viewers are thinking in that moment, asks Luke to marry her.
7. “You Jump, I Jump, Jack” (7, Palladino)
The ambition of this episode outstrips its execution, but it’s still entertaining to witness the clashes of worlds: Luke awkwardly golfing with Richard, and Rory bungee-jumping off an eight-story scaffold with Logan (a striking image for this low-budget series). Lane and Zack have their first date, but this relationship doesn’t ring true to me. Zack seems like Dean’s simpleton friend from Season 1 whom Lane crushed on until the moment she tried to converse with him. Also, I know that Lane would be with Dave if he hadn’t run off to “The O.C.”
8. “The Party’s Over” (8, Sherman-Palladino)
Emily and Richard essentially parading Rory around like a piece of meat to prospective Yale suitors is ridiculous, even for them. Still, it’s easy to sympathize with Rory here, and to like Logan for bailing her out. Rory’s breakup with Dean is inevitable, but I like the stark contrast of Dean and his blue-collar clothes and truck versus the gussied-up Rory and Logan’s dapper group. It puts an effective, and sad, period on the Dean years (Jared Padalecki went off to star in “Supernatural” in Fall 2005).
9. “A Messenger, Nothing More” (2, Palladino)
The longest rift between Lorelai and Rory thus far in the series (more than one full episode!) is resolved. Alexis Bledel is particularly good here, as Rory’s sadness over her feud with her mom and complicated relationship with Dean, a married man, is palpable.
10. “Say Goodbye to Daisy Miller” (1, Sherman-Palladino)
Season 5 opens with something rather different: We see the final scene of Season 4 from Dean’s perspective. Also unusual: Lorelai and Rory are in the midst of a serious feud precipitated by Rory having sex with Dean. In a particularly nasty moment, Lorelai uses the word “affairs” in a pointed play on words.
11. “Women of Questionable Morals” (11, Palladino)
This episode does the work of redeeming some characters, which I appreciate, although I don’t appreciate that such an episode was necessary in the first place. Rory feels bad about demanding that Christopher stay away from Lorelai when Christopher’s dad dies. And Emily and Richard (who had been banished to the pool house since the start of the season) begin to mend their rift when they bond over a stray dog — which, admittedly, is a cute way to accomplish this necessary plot development.
12. “To Live and Let Diorama” (18, Palladino)
The Stars Hollow Museum is a nice throwback to the earlier quirky days of the series, and I like the idea of Rory, Lane and Paris getting wasted on Miss Patty’s Founders’ Day Punch, along with the idea of Zack thinking he has to hide his love of bluegrass from Lane.
On the downside, this episode feels like there was a missing episode before it, as Paris is inexplicably fretting over her relationship with Doyle, Taylor is suddenly leading town meetings again (he lost the town selectman election against Jackson earlier in the season) and Dean hates Luke’s guts. While Dean’s observation that Luke is just like him – thinking he has a chance with a Gilmore girl when the odds are against him – is accurate, that should be a reason for sympathy, not loathing.
13. “We Got Ourselves a Pippi Virgin!” (5, Palladino)
The double date to Kirk’s movie theater showing “Pippi Longstocking” is a nice throwback to the more innocent days of the show, but Luke’s barely veiled dislike of Dean is not so sweet. I know the idea is to show that he’s protective of Rory, but it doesn’t ring true considering that Dean is so similar to Luke.
14. “Wedding Bell Blues” (13, Sherman-Palladino)
This is the centerpiece of the season of people being asses to each other. At the elder Gilmores’ wedding renewal ceremony, a drunken Chris – who had been invited by Emily for this purpose – is rude to Luke, saying he’s with Lorelai “For now.” In another infamous line, which I recall being constantly repeated in the “previously on” segments, Lorelai tells Emily “We’re done.”
The highlight is Rory cutely asking out Logan (or rather, asking why he never asked her out, which I guess is the proper way for girls to do it). Another amusing moment comes when Lor, Chris and Luke barge in on Rory and Logan’s make-out session – it’s like a PG version of the start of “American Pie 2.”
15. “Norman Mailer, I’m Pregnant!” (6, Simon Berg and Stan Zimmerman)
The overplayed joke of Norman Mailer not ordering anything more than tea doesn’t land at all. But on the upside, we get one of my favorite lines of the series when Doyle tells Rory that she’s a journalist now, and therefore must learn to say “ass.”
16. “How Many Kropogs to Cape Cod?” (20, Bill Prady and Rebecca Rand Kirshner)
The season had gotten away from the writers by this point. Rory’s Stamford Eagle-Gazette internship comes out of nowhere. School is still in session, so how does she have the time? Plus, “Gilmore Girls’ ” ignorance of newspapers reaches new depths, as Rory trails Mitchum around, learning about the corporate side of things, which isn’t how a college internship would go.
The writers got shadowing mixed up with interning. And the concept of Rory drifting toward her grandparents’ world and away from her mothers’ by dating Logan is awkwardly accomplished by showing Lorelai being snubbed at dinner by Emily — who had only recently been fretting over losing her daughter forever – and by Lorelai catching Logan stealing a knickknack.
17. “Pulp Friction” (17, Berg and Zimmerman)
Quentin Tarantino fans might enjoy the party themed after his films. And Luke-and-Lorelai fans will enjoy the two of them getting back together.
18. “Blame Booze and Melville” (21, Palladino)
Rory hits her low point when she encourages Logan to steal a yacht with her. Mitchum telling her she’s not cut out to be a journalist makes us understand Rory’s rash behavior somewhat, but Mitchum is a ridiculous character, and the show’s portrayal of journalism continues to wildly miss the mark. Based on everything we know about Rory, and everything we’ve seen her doing, she is already a strong journalist who would be an asset to any newspaper – particularly small to mid-size ones, where the bar for entry is not nearly as high as the “Gilmore Girls” writing staff thinks.
19. “Tippecanoe and Taylor, Too” (4, Prady)
Following the classic episode of L&L’s first date, we get this decidedly non-classic hour focused on the town selectman election. Taylor gets what he richly deserves: Being destroyed by Jackson at the ballot box. As I noted above, later episodes would pretend this one didn’t happen, as Taylor stays in his selectman post.
20. “Emily Says Hello” (9, Kirshner)
“The Destruction of Rory’s Character” begins in earnest here. For one, she’s incredibly mean to her dad, whose crime is having lunch with Lorelai. Even though it comes from a place of wanting Lorelai and Luke to work out, that’s no excuse. For another, Rory is oblivious to nice-guy Marty’s affections for her, which puts viewers in the odd position of rooting for the supporting character and disliking the main character (although I admit that the rude guy beating out the nice guy for a girl’s affections is a vivid slice of the real world).
21. “Come Home” (12, Jessica Queller)
Emily reaches new depths of rudeness when she pops in on Christopher to drop off an invitation to her and Richard’s ceremony, implies that he can get back with Lorelai, and – most ridiculous of all – refers to Chris’ child Gigi as “this.”
22. “So … Good Talk” (16, Lisa Randolph)
The season’s (and series’) low point finds Rory being utterly cold to her grandmother at a Friday night dinner. It’s absurd that a relatively mature young woman, who just months earlier realized the folly of her cold treatment of her dad, would essentially use the silent treatment on Emily rather than expressing her feelings in direct conversation. I wonder if Bledel questioned her bosses about the script, because Rory is shockingly out of character. It doesn’t make the episode fascinating, it makes it painful to watch.
What are your thoughts on Season 5 of “Gilmore Girls?” Did the writers forget the formula that made their show great for four years, or am I being too critical? Share your thoughts in the comment thread below.
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